> a house isn't really lived in till there's something green in the window

that's a good line, your gran was right. i have a pot of mint that came from my mum's kitchen, it keeps trying to die and i keep refusing to let it, which says something about both of us.

carrier bag with wet newspaper though. that's the correct way to move a plant and i will not be taking questions

mum's mint!! wren that's lovely, and the fact it keeps trying to check out and you keep pulling it back is exactly how i feel about gran's spider plant some winters when it gets all leggy and dramatic

also thank you for validating the carrier bag method, i was worried for a second someone would tell me i did it wrong. it sat on my knees on the bus home and i held it like a baby. ginger sniffed it when i got in and then immediately went back to sleep, zero interest

A pothos lived on the galley sill for most of my years on the boats... fed it cold tea once when we ran out of water and the office made a fuss about it later, which tells you everything about the office. It outlasted three captains and a re-paint of the whole wheelhouse. Plants that get moved about and left alone seem to be the stubborn ones...

Held it like a baby on the bus. Case closed, that's the correct carrier method. Also the flatmate rolled her eyes but agreed to text a photo, which means she already likes the plant. People who don't like plants don't agree to photo updates. This is settled.

oldsalt the pothos outliving three captains is sending me, and honestly cold tea is basically plant food if you squint. ginger would have drunk it first anyway.

dex you're right about the flatmate and i'm framing that. she's already named it. i haven't asked what yet because i'm scared it's something silly

Named it already. That's not a flatmate who rolled her eyes, that's a flatmate who's adopted a child. My money's on something stupid like 'Leaf Erikson'. Case closed again.

theres a cactus on my kitchen windowsill that a previous housemate left when she moved out. going on three years now. i water it when i remember which is basically never and it seems fine with the arrangement

three years and it's just... still there, quietly judging your watering schedule. plants know when they've got a good deal tern, it's staying out of spite and i respect that

Leaf Erikson... that's the sort of thing a lad on the boats would have come out with and then had to hear about for six weeks... my daughter named a fern 'Fernanda' when she was about nine and the family still won't let her forget it, she's thirty-two now...

Grown adult woman named a fern Fernanda and the family chose violence for twenty three years straight. I respect their stamina. Meanwhile my money's still on Leaf Erikson, update us fern

fernanda!!! oldsalt your daughter was a visionary and the family was wrong to mock her. nine years old and already naming plants properly, thats a child who grew up right

and dex i will update you, the suspense is genuinely ruining my week. she texted a photo already by the way, its on the sill next to her toaster and shes put a little pebble on top of the soil. i nearly cried on the bus

The pebble means she's doing decor, not just keeping it alive. That's ownership. Leaf Erikson might still be alive as a contender but I'm now worried she's gone somewhere tasteful with it, which is worse for me. fern, we need the name.

okay the name. i've been sitting on it all day like it's classified info.

she called it Sylvia. after gran. i found out because she texted it underneath the photo all casual like she hadn't just ended dex's whole betting ring, and i had to get off the bus a stop early because i was not going to cry standing up holding a rail like that

dex i'm sorry. she went tasteful. i've never been more proud of a woman who rolled her eyes at me

named it after gran and you got off the bus a stop early. thats the most fern thing ive ever read. cactus on my sill still has no name, feels wrong to name it now after hearing this

tern you don't have to name it! it's a three year veteran of your windowsill living on pure neglect and spite, it's earned the right to be anonymous. but if you ever do, i vote something with gravitas. a name like Sylvia. someone who's been through things

Sylvia... now that's a proper name, not like Fernanda which the family still brings up at Christmas... your gran would've approved I reckon... a pebble on the soil too, that's someone who means it...

i had to get off dex. i genuinely did. there was a man with a shopping trolley watching me and i was not about to explain myself to him

she said it like it was nothing. 'called her Sylvia x' with the little kiss at the end like she hadn't just named a plant after my gran. i'm framing the text, i don't care what she says

The little kiss at the end... that's the flatmate saying she knows exactly what she's done and she's pleased about it... A pebble, a photo, a name with a kiss... that's three more commitments than most folk make... your gran's in good hands fern...

she went tasteful and she knew. that kiss is a victory lap. fern i accept the loss, the betting ring is dissolved, but for the record leaf erikson was a strong candidate and your flatmate knew exactly what she was doing to me personally

> i'm framing the text

you will not frame it, you will screenshot it and then never print it, which is what everyone who says this actually does

also 'called her Sylvia x' is doing an enormous amount of work in seven characters

A KISS AT THE END OF A PLANT TEXT. That's the kind of thing you find in a drawer in twenty years and go quiet over! My dad's floral shower curtain is still the one thing I wish I had a photo of, and this flatmate is out here photographing the pot, naming it AND signing off with a kiss like she knows it's an heirloom already! fern you did good passing it on!!

wren you're right and i feel seen and attacked in equal measure. i WILL print it. eventually. after i've looked at it approximately four hundred more times

bucket that's exactly it, she knows it's an heirloom. she's had it four days and she's already treating it like it has a history, because it does, and i didn't have to explain that to her once. i just handed her a pot and she got it

> i WILL print it. eventually.

the most fern timeline possible. it'll live in the cloud forever and gran's name will be held hostage by a phone upgrade

put the pebble in the frame with it, that's the bit that'll matter

gran's name held hostage by a phone upgrade is the most upsetting thing said in this thread and i've been taking losses all day. fern, print it, frame it, put the pebble in. if you don't i'm adding a whiteboard category: SCREENSHOTS THAT NEVER GOT PRINTED, currently at one, and i'll know who it is

dex threatening me with a whiteboard tally is somehow the push i needed. fine. print shop. this week. pebble's going in the frame too, wren's right, that's the bit that'll matter when marmalade eventually knocks it all off the wall anyway