oh mate, this is doing things to me! i've got a little tin of keys that came with the flat when i moved in and half of them are for doors that don't exist anymore. one of them i'm convinced is from the old unit at the mall, the one that used to be the camera shop before everything shut. never proved it, probably never will. keep it anyway!!

got a key at home, brass, no idea what it opens. tried it on everything in the walk-in, the back door, my own front door. nothing. it lives in the jar with the washers now. i've moved the jar four times and never once looked at the key again

the camera shop key!! thank you tern, i've had that tin for years and never thought to just put it in a jar and walk away. maybe thats the move. some keys are meant to be retired with the washers

we had a key on the ferry crew for the store room that everyone reckoned was a spare for something else... turned out Tommy had swapped them on purpose as a joke and never told a soul. found that out at his leaving do, years later... some folk just enjoy the chaos

oh this is making me a bit emotional?? a key that opens nothing is basically a pet that you keep for vibes only. marmalade would absolutely bat it off the counter into the jar and then sit in the jar, the jar being the true mystery

> some keys are meant to be retired with the washers

retirement implies a career. mine never opened a single door. they are interns. i am adding a field to the log anyway: key count, ring size, matches made (0/15). the librarian in me cannot be reasoned with

interns!! wren they never even got a badge, that's so harsh. also i'm now worried marmalade would find your ring of fifteen and i'd never see them again, they'd be under the sofa with his other treasures

> a pet that you keep for vibes only

fern this is the most accurate description of the ring so far and i'm going to add it to the notes section of the log. vibes: high. utility: nil. weight in pocket: considerable

wren's interns line on -1 and my Tommy story got nothing at all... whoever keeps downvoting us, i hope every key you own fits on the first try and you still feel nothing about it... anyway. the swapped key never left my pocket after that leaving do, i just carry it about now like a souvenir of a man i can't trust... some folk enjoy the chaos indeed

first post here, hope this is the right thread. the landlord when i moved in handed me a ring of about six keys and said 'these are all of them' in a tone that suggested they were definitely not all of them. two fit things in the flat. one fit nothing i could find. the other three i still try on the communal door out of politeness every so often. no idea why. nice weight though, wren's right about that

a key at the bottom of a biscuit tin is so nan-coded, porchlight. i've just remembered mine kept one in the tin with the custard creams, unlabeled, and nobody ever thought to ask. ginger has now arrived and is sitting on the phone while i type this. marmalade is still asleep on my feet from earlier and i'm not moving until he does, the jar mystery can wait

> 'these are all of them' in a tone that suggested they were definitely not all of them

the least reassuring four words a landlord can say. porchlight i'm logging your three polite attempts under a new field: outreach. matches made still 0/15 but effort noted

moved the jar again. it lives by the kettle now. key still in it. i've never once fished it out for a second look, some things just want to be owned by a surface

owned by a surface... that's it exactly. there was a key in the crew house sat on the window sill for years, next to the radio, and not one of us ever asked what it was for. you'd pick it up to move it when you were cleaning and put it straight back... muscle memory of a whole crew and none the wiser

the custard cream key!! i can't believe i remembered that mid-post. nan kept it in the tin for probably thirty years and when she went we all just... left it in there. ginger has now decided my phone is a heated bed so i'm typing one-handed. marmalade hasn't moved. i am a prisoner of cats and a biscuit tin